Email is one of those things that many people find they need but find it a lot of hassle for the occasionally useful message. We’ll proceed on the basis that it is a necessary evil which can be kept in check with some simple good habits. Learn to love it.
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Now here is something I want you to keep to yourself. It’s not for general release – do you understand? That is the lead-in to a confidence which, somehow, by the nature of being ‘secret’ acquires extra importance. Why should this be? Can we use it for our own purposes? What are the negative implications?
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I thought I’d put together a few questions to test general intellectual ability. The sort of test you’d use if you were going to employ someone. The object isn’t to present you with puzzles that you need some insight into solving, it isn’t to trick or require cleverness, but simply to see if you have a bit of everyday knowledge and can put your brains to work on straightforward problems.

Part of the test is to read the questions carefully. Another is to see if you can cope with mildly confusing situation. Another is to see how diligent you are. Some knowledge of English and metric units is required.
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What has a teddy bear got that a computer hasn’t?

Back in 1994 I wrote an essay which began:-

If Beethoven can soothe me and move me, why not my PC also? What do my cats give me that my computer doesn’t? When a woolly toy out-performs a computer, serious thought has to be given to why.

The recent advances in Artificial Intelligence, networking and miniaturisation suggest to me that we might be able to build better, and hopefully valuable, relationships between people and computers. I’ll present three illustrations all of which show the importance of learning. You may want to relate topics discussed in one to all three.

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Surely it’s impossible to give somebody a meaningful single grade A to E for their standard of essential basic education. Actually I have invented such a scheme which is extremely straightforward and based on practical reasoning.

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Clarksole

Arrogant driver. From the TV presenter Jeremy Clarkson.

Durbrain

Dim-wit. From “dur – my brain hurts”.

Scribblything

Something to write with.

Shonet

Utterly useless bit of junk. Esp. useful when applied as a product name. eg “Microsoft’s Shonet browser”. From S-H-one-T

We use the pointer all the time to find and click. Here are five practical basics:

Scrap the mouse and use a trackball instead. Being able to whizz around the screen by moving your thumb in a controlled motion beats finding where you last left the mouse, making space for it on the desk, lifting it back to get another swipe and dropping it off the edge of the table. If you have one with a cable that’s getting entangled in the other desk clutter and if you have one without the batteries keep running out. Read more

Coming soon to this blog will be a series aimed at reluctant computer users. Many readers will recognise either themselves as struggling with bl***y computers or often spend time helping others out.

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Thought-provoking articles in five parts

1
“Sometime in the next month I’ll be starting a daily cognolog”.

“What is that?” I hear you ask.

“I’ll explain” I reply.

“Oh get on with it!” you say.

“OK Are you sitting comfortably?”

That was a conversation – of sorts. However even though it was supposed to be you, the reader, alternating with me, the writer, of course I did all the ‘talking’. So you’re completely passive. That’s the nature of the reader/writer relationship.
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All well-behaved little boys and girls are brought up to say thank you. That’s just politeness. So far so good: Saying “thank you” when somebody holds the door open for you or tells you when the next train leaves is good manners.

Don’t do that. Instead say I appreciate that or That was most helpful.

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